Today I shall be ill.

I admit that I have though a lot about blogging recently but I find that writers block hit me not because I create scintillating content but because I find it hard to figure out how much one should share.

You see, I had originally intended to use this blog as a thought stream of sorts since my head (read memory) is remarkably similar to Swiss cheese. I would like to maintain some sort of archive of the things I find interesting and various memories for perusal when my doctors hopefully fix my malfunctioning hormones.

That being said today’s thought stream is a bit self derisive. You see I suffer from a peptic ulcer and for the most part I try to eat well but there are certain days of the year that I make an exception for. Today (yesterday) was one of them. Diwali is the only day for the year I prepare to be annoyingly sick because I love curry and in particular, the curry that my friend’s mum makes.

So yes I am feeling a bit under the weather now but I think it was worth it because there is something to be said for having a choice. I usually don’t get to choose to be in pain, it just happens. Random, debilitating and oftentimes depressing the pains that make up my day are familiar but not dear.

I choose to feel this and the net effect is that even though I am in pain, I feel empowered. Its very similar to a runner’s high to be honest which is also something I have become familiar with in the last few weeks.

I’ll say this much for it. Even though right now I seem to be adding pains to the ones I already have since I apparently run badly (which is a situation that I plan to rectify as soon as possible). Running seems to relieve my depression. A side effect that I am most grateful for to be sure.

So I had super fun with Reanna and her family for their Diwali celebration. I could have done without the fireworks since I’m still a bit deaf but all in all, it was fun. I wish my brothers could have been there but they don’t like the driver so they didn’t come. I honestly was most disappointed since both Reanna and I had looked forward to seeing them for a little bit.

One of my brothers said something I found rather insensitive though. When I told him I was in pain and he blew me off with” so what else is new”. Which was supremely annoying since when a disgustingly healthy person says something like that I honestly wish that they could live a day in my shoes. So I could have one day without pain, so that they can understand when I say something like that what I really need is some comfort as I am obviously a bit frustrated.

I find myself distancing myself from people when it happens because I think to myself that I don’t want the kind of people.around me would would be insensitive enough to say something like that.

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