Today was the best day I’ve had in a while. I for some reason decided that I would have pizza today. No, I am certainly not supposed to be having pizza but my options were very sparse today on account of it being Good Friday. Am I the only one who didn’t realise it was going to be a holiday?

Yesterday was the last day of antibiotics and I feel great. My stomach is in a mess but I don’t feel like it’s gonna explode anymore so woohoo! I also managed to not get a yeast infection this time which is such a relief. Those things make life needlessly complicated.

My next plan is to buy a Nutribullet because I need to eat something right? I got a ton of smoothie and juicing books and not a few cookbooks. Diabetic ones of course, I’ll log the recipes that I can stomach as I go along.

The hardest thing about switching to a healthy diet is you never realise just how terrible the Trinidadian diet is until you get banned from it. Now I’m sure that if I were a more experienced cook I would be able to make low salt, low fat and low sugar variations of my favourite dishes. Unfortunately I am not there yet but I hope to be soon.

I think that maybe I’ll be able to turn mys lf around soon. I find that I feel most useless when I cannot be useful to the people I love. I want for example to have enough money to pay for medication for a dear friend of mine who is gravely ill. I adore her and the thought that she might not ask me for help because my circumstances aren’t the best terrifies me. I would also like to start working so my husband can start pursuing the things he likes. He is an amazing man, and I want to make him as happy as he made this last decade for me.

Today I feel hopeful. The more violent symptoms of sinusitis are clearing up. I no longer feel terrible all the time so well see how tomorrow goes. The Glucophage also causes me to get nauseous so I don’t yet know how the increased dose will affect me without the antibiotics. The nasal spray is still not my favourite thing but I am getting accustomed to it. The Glucophage has done an amazing job I’m currently averaging 1 period per card. The first one I wasn’t too sure about, but this one was definitely a period. I was worried that it might have gone on too long but it stopped on the 8 day. Next month I might see a more normal flow so I’m looking forward to that.

I have lost weight but my stomach is beginning to look grotesque thanks to the cysts. It’s distended and it gives the impression that I’m pregnant. The skin is stretched painfully tight and I cannot tolerate any pressure on my stomach. I suspect that’s also not helping with my nausea.

I ate utter rubbish this week. Basically, if it didn’t make me gag I ate it. Very few things that I’m allowed made the cut unfortunately. I’m hoping that next week goes better.

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