Thoughts on local reactions to the coming out of local transgendered persons.

I am reminded of theses words “love they neighbor as one would love thyself” and “do unto others as one would have them do onto you”. These are both pieces of scripture that are widely quoted by locals. And yet here they are shitting all over the words of their lord to revel in their collective bigotry. Am I to believe that they want the treatment that is being dealt out to these transgended persons by a population that is breathtaking in its wilful ignorance of basic human biology?

I’m not going to go into the biological reasons behind why someone would be transgendered again. It’s about time that these people realize that this has not one fuck to do with them. I am not transgendered but I am well aware of the horrifying lot that they are dealt. I am also well aware of why they need to come out publically.

Trindadian society is one that allows physical and emotional attacks on the LBGT community and its about time that we cut that shit out. We are fucking adults, if you’re straight its no excuse for being ignorant. I see people talking about how straight people are being ostracized and my jaw just hits the ground. Really? Are you being beaten for kissing your significant other in public or holding their hand? Are men trying to rape you straight? Are people stopping you from getting married because they think your love is disgusting? Are you being beaten within and inch of your life because your outside doesn’t match your inside or because you were born intersex and you look too effeminate or too masculine? Are people openly spewing hateful shit at you because of who you love? No? Then how about you shut the fuck up then?


Some thoughts on the Blade Trilogy.

Last night I decided to rewatch the Blade movies. After seeing the first two I can safely say that the movies aged well for what they were. The only effect that took me out of it was that swell up and explode sequence. The vampires are rather pathetic though. No night vision, no predatory instincts at all. I didn’t realize that before I guess I was more into the action porn aspect.

The third movie was a little disappointing. They tossed everything about him out, made him careless. Out went the stealth and his method of hunting all for the sake of introducing new characters to serve as his sidekicks. Granted these were more useful than the vampire squad that was training to hunt him in the last movie.

Involving the humans in the war just made it boring. We all know that humans won’t survive something like this as much fun as it is to fantasise otherwise. A bunch of unnecessary drama and posturing reminiscent of the bullshit we get in our daily lives. Hardly the escape I’d come to expect from this series.

The vampires in the third movie were also underwhelming with the exception of Dracula. A lot of those weird and unnecessary serpentine body movements for the females.

As usual, the weapons and action sequences were awesome. Reynolds’ quips were entertaining and the scenes with him and the vampire siblings were hilarious. And my god, Jessica’s muscle tone was mesmerising. I also liked the design of Dracula’s true form, really fits in with that blood god mythology they set up.


Well that was scary and ridiculously painful. I can’t help but wonder; if a partial kneecap dislocation feels this bad what the full dislocation would feel like?

I’m actually terrified of knee issues. When I was a child, one of my friend’s kneecaps (yes both kneecaps) just shattered. One minute he was standing there next minute he was on the ground screaming.

Since then, every time I get so much as twinge in my knee I tense up.

Mixed feelings.

Today was a busy day. Generally I try not to see multiple doctors in one day if I can help it. The chronic sinusitis had other plans though. So after struggling to breathe for the last few days I decided to see another GP for a second opinion on the sinusitis. My sinuses were seriously inflamed so this is the stash I’ll be taking over the course of the next month or so.


The GP said that sinus related issues are super hard to treat and since mines is due to a deviated septum there may be a surgery in my future.

The weirdest thing I got today was this:


I just used it. Its quite an odd feeling but it’s not uncomfortable. After taking all my meds and doing the nasal irrigation I can finally breathe again.

Happiness :3

Things seem to be going okay on the Gastroenterology front. My current diagnosis is Irritable Bowel Syndrome. The current treatment is Alevian duo 2x per day, 15 minutes before meals. It seems to be getting better the longer I use it. Luckily, I won’t need to rush to do the colonoscopy thankfully. I just need to do it at some point this year.

I’ll need to see an ENT at the end of this course of meds for the sinusitis because its probably going to continue coming back until my septum is fixed. The incessant burning in my scalp could also be because the inflamed sinuses are compressing the nerve the runs through my ear. At some point I’ll need to see a dermatologist about the tearing and soreness going on with my fingertips.

I have mixed feelings about the news I got today. Its mostly kinda depressing. Doesn’t make any sense getting angry at my parents yet again.

At least I’m making progress with my health even if it seems like I’m not. I need a break from seeing that hospital. I’m glad that the next appointment is at the end of the month.

Fear and loathing.

Since I’ve moved to my new place I’ve had two bad experiences with men. One just happened: a homeless guy grabbed my hand and bit me then proceeded to chase me all the way to my house.

And another happened a week ago. My leg had popped out the joint and the person who stopped to help me turned out to be a pervert. Luckily nothing bad happened just a few unpleasant memories and of course more guilt.

I’m currently waiting on my hubby to come home so he can carry me to the hospital to make sure I wasn’t infected with anything. It didn’t bleed but it burns a lot so one can assume he broke my skin. I seriously doubt I’ll be able to escape that guy if he catches me a second time. I dislocated my shoulder as I yanked my hand away. That bugger was fucking strong.

I’m pretty upset right now because I never used to be scared all the time when I was training. I knew what I was capable of then and I knew when to run away. Now, I have no idea if I can defend myself because my body never listens.

I’m supposed I managed to outrun him without my legs popping out of the joint. I only wish I had the energy to run straight to the police station. They would have had to take me seriously if the crazy guy followed me all the way there.

I thought I had come a long way but it seems I was wrong. I’m cowering in my bedroom terrified and having flashbacks. It sucks but my mind is my greatest enemy when it comes to dealing effectively with these sorts of people.

I can only hope that homeless guy isn’t actively marking me.

The waiting game.

When I had the endoscopy 2 weeks ago I was told that I had no serious issues with my esophagus, stomach and duodenum. There were signs of inflammation that the GI believed was due to my medication intake. Waiting for the biopsy results seems to be giving me a stress induced ulcer.

It odd for me to be this affected by stress but I suppose that not being able to exercise and being off the generic Prozac has a lot to do with that.

My health seems to be getting more and more complicated. My stomach hasn’t reduced in size since the treatment for E. Coli. In fact it seems to be holding steady at around 6 inches of what appears to be permanent bloat.

Some of the diseases being thrown around to explain my complicated health situation include connective tissue disease and a blood related disorder. There’s still the fact that I need to see a therapist to deal with my depression and dissociative episodes since antidepressants and anti psychotics have failed miserably.

Right now I’m feeling more than a little useless and so very lost. I think I’ll buy a kindle so I can escape. I’m probably very close to my limit for dealing with these things gracefully.

I wish I knew which problem to focus on first.