Death Cab for Cutie – I’ll Follow You Into the Dark

Death Cab for Cutie – I’ll Follow You Into the Dark

I was just watching Mike Birbiglia’s special My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend¬†on Netflix and I thought the closing song was amazing. Especially considering the theme of the special. This live version is pretty different from the album version but the violins are a nice touch. I prefer the album version but both are nice.

I don’t like thinking about when my hubby will die. I know that he thinks that I’ll be the one who goes first but I’d probably follow him if he goes first. He’s shown me a world that I never thought I’d see but a world without him is no good for me. Strangely enough this song captures how I feel right now, and that feeling hasn’t changed at all in the 9 years that we’ve been married. If anything it’s only gotten more intense.

On a lighter note Mike’s special was quite entertaining, if you have an awkward personality like I do you’ll probably find your self empathizing intensely with his experiences. I think that, that’s a good thing though, it gives you a new way of looking at things.

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Be brave.

I’m afraid of everything these days. I feel like my life is stagnating. I try not to have to many woe is me moments but I suppose feelings and logic are mutually exclusive. Aside from the phobias I’m afraid of failing, its such a crippling fear that I find it hard to get anything started. It’s weird, I thought that after my dad died this feeling would go away but I’ve been living in fear of failure for so long that now that my abilities are no where near where they used to be I can’t move.

I don’t like thinking about myself now. I hate how weak I am and I constantly compare my present self to my past self and find my self wanting. I finally have the freedom to choose my own path all I need to do is be brave.

Today’s mix pretty much covers all my negative self talk. I hope that it helps you guys too.