Frustration abounds.

So my health hasn’t improved much in the last 6 months. Mostly because my crappy immune system kept putting me down every time I started doing okay with working out. Like for instance last week I got gastroenteritis on Tuesday. Which you might recognise as being the day after I started running again.

Life can be such a cruel joke sometimes. Like the compulsion I have to eat starch thanks to my insulin resistance. I suppose addiction is a better word since there’s no better way to describe how I get if I don’t eat starch for a few days.

While I was puking my guts out on Tuesday the gynecologists’ office called to remind me that my 6 month follow up for the PCOS was last Thursday. Long story short. They hasn’t been much change and the reason is lack of exercise. You would not believe how annoyed I was when I heard that. I have been trying so hard for so long but to no avail. I never stay healthy long enough to reap the benefits of the exercise I do when I’m stable. Hell, my last bout of illness lasted 2 months. 2 months of feeling like I was on the brink of death thanks to some side effects among other things. Barely able to move or even stay awake.

How am I supposed to overcome these things? What do I need to do to start feing better? I’m getting to the point where I just can’t care anymore. I’m already severely depressed and the effects of the depression are made worse by the havoc the insulin is causing in my body.

Sigh…maybe now is a good time to find a psychiatrist.